Finally actually mentally shattered yesterday morning.

Hey guys it's me again,

It's been a while..

I think, I have finally shattered .

I have taken 2 days off of work to focus on breathing and meditating

Fact is, no matter what anyone thinks, I have been doing nothing but trying to hold it together since being attacked in October in my only safe place I had after finally gaining control of my cptsd episodes since leaving my dad's grasp.

and i have now found my limit . (Continued below 👇 )

When you are raised with this 👆 meme here as your "parents" ..... you know, the ones who you are supposed to learn how to be productive members of society from , the ones who are supposed to set examples and teach you how to work through things...

yeah , those guys, the ones you are supposed to go to for support in life.. the only ones who really are supposed to have your back through it all... when all they do is run from you, lie (yes, assuming psychopathic made up stories in your own head to cope with your own running from yourself and your only kid all her life, and then telling those assumptions to others = LYING) to the whole town about you, scream immediately every time like clockwork no matter what , when you when you try to get support or just actually seriously speak to them at all, say their too busy for you for decades , because they have actual "important " stuff to tend too , (you would think the god damn child they birthed and brought into the world would have been one of those important things yeah!!! Hello!!! What the f happened to you lady , I idolized you for sooooo long when I was younger once you left for some reason , yet I'm not even worth the shit out of your ass ) it really makes for a hard hard adult life if your not careful .

So you really need to try to Pay attention, and stand up for yourself .. plesse don't accept BS treatment , especially from the ones who birthed you the BIGGEST BULLSHIT in this world, is the enabling of things just because they are "family" . Speak up and tell them what the heck you feel, because LOVE is a ACTION, and IF THEY DO LOVE YOU , they will listen and suck up their ego . Not do everything in their power to harm you more by doing exactly what you've been begging them not to , and explaining word for word, like a toddler, for 10 months.

You DONT want to EVER feel how i have been for almost a year now .

I am now gone off Facebook, first time since 2010, and can be found on Instagram, or here in my #CPTSDandMe blog website , and tge KahuPuna community website .

Aloha. Here's to praying for peace . ✌️ 🙏

Jazzy.