Good morning 100322

It's another beautiful day!

As we talked about yesterday in my "morning mindsets"entry, I like to start my day off in the right mindset .

I do this by reading some affirmations, quotes and whatever comes my way in the Headway app as far as reading 📚. If there's ever a morning that I don't go straight for my affirmations first, then I go straight to my BIBLE. Another major thing is I make sure to get atleast a cuddle in with my daughter if she is still in her bed. The warm and fuzzy.

(No matter what the problem, no matter the day or the time , I always find the answer I'm seeking in my Bible. The way to use our bibles in this way, for actual answers to your daily problems , is to sit down calmly, take some deep breaths , seek inside and ask God, or ask the universe , to show you exactly what it is you need to see at that moment. then without looking at what page your going too, flip through your Bible and have yourself stop it at a random page . Once you've done this, read that page . I PROMISE you, you WILL ALWAYS find the answers you need on the page you randomly opened too .)

But , this isnt a blog where im going to sit and preach to you, and force my beliefs on you in any way (you can find @DisciplesofPuna on Facebook for those affirmations 😘😇😉)

This is a blog where a woman from Puna, Hawaii is sharing her helpful tips and tricks for coping with CPTSD , its a blog where I am a OPEN BOOK (#endthestigmas #cptsdawareness) as I myself work through my own CPTSD, and take control for the first time ever in life, and its a blog where we can be ourselves (YOU included !! PLEASE ENGAGE , dont be shy, leave a comment!!)

It's also blog where I unload a history of family bs that has literally shaped me to be who I am today, as I unravel it all to find my TRUE SELF in the Now. (Names will be changed... not using real names)

I really and truly hope that on my own path to emotional freedom , I motivate others or give then the courage to step inside themselves as well , to work through the inner chaos and free themselves ..

So back to the morning mindsets / morning talk. .. creating healthy rituals is such a must . The rituals are such a must to heal, yet somehow we always find excuses as to not hold up on them . There's just always something self sabbatoging there subconsciously because we were molded to believe no matter what we do or try , something bad is going to happen or will happen and we just have to suck it up and get over it ...

The morning hours, the hour when we first wake up , especially the first few minutes, is really our magic ticket to our day . Actively and PURPOSELY putting ourselves IMMEDIATELY in a POSITIVE outlook IS THE SINGLE SECRET TO A GOOD DAY ! As soon as you start to wake up think about how lucky you are to be doing just that, say thank you Lord, thank you Universe , whatever it is you Believe in . If you don't believe in anything like that, then please , just make sure you BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. THAT IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT. because you CAN do anything.

It's really important for someone with cPTSD to live in the NOW. Growing up this was always something my dad was obsessed with , whuch was pretty ironic because it was also the one thing he refused to do . He was , and still Is to this day in 2022, stuck in his extreme trauma from a small child, he's living on repeat in the same circle from 55 years ago and it's heartbreaking honestly. I wish with every morsel of my being my dad didnt have to suffer like he did and has been for so long ... truly is a test of faith to say the least as there should not be this type of pain in the world...

To live in the Now when youve lived through and are always reminded of trauma Is a SUPERPOWER ... when you have been through hell and can't process it... it becomes dangerous , as I learned from being raised by someone who is way past the severe delusional stages of cptsd ... living in denial as a perpetual victim ...

now as I START to dig into my own childhood and emotional issues, I'm always reminded of him and how hard he seemingly DID try to live on the Now (all the self help, all the Tony Robbins, all the eckhart tolle , all the meditations etc ...) but one major issue was the therapy. . Anytime I'd beg him to get help for himself he'd always yell at me that he got therapy 20 Years ago, and that he did hypnotherapy etc (which can make you worse, of your not careful, so can EDMT therapy, we will get into that in another entry) and that everyone else was the problem, not him . Never ever ever would look in the mirror .

(I am awaiting my first cptsd trauma therapy session as we speak , and actually am going with my mom --- we will save that for another entry... i have had therapy for a few years, with now a break due to the actual lack of therapists here that are even trained in trauma or cptsd therapy. I am on the waiting list , and will be sharing coping mechanisms here with you all from my sessions.)

CPTSD is something you need to work on hard for a long time , to get better . We have to ACTUALLY look at ourselves also and make changes, create boundaries . Some take a lifetime and never even get to that , so to just get passed off anytime someone mentions therapy and getting help just because you tried it decades ago, only makes yourself worse.

We must love ourselves enough to try.

Sadly some never ever even live a normal life because their cPTSD took that away from them. To think my poor father has never known true happiness in this life, it literally kills me. So I finally must take control of this , the trauma that was passed onto me , so that I don't end up as he is now .

I'm actually hoping and praying that with me working through my own, and learning how to cope better with things, it will then in turn pass healing up along the family line , to my parents too.. while at the same time fixing my bond with my own family , because I've seemingly ruined mine due to the lack of any normal family life when I was a child and its all I know... all it seems my family does when it comes down to it is turn heads and act like there's no issues . (I know I'm not alone here , so many families are like this . Time we end the silence. )

It's just time for change

ALL around

And I'm feeling extremely blessed to have you along for this journey.

I hope you have a beautiful day. Remember, your feelings matter, you are worth it all. You are love.

Find the tiny miracles in each step, spend your days finding the light in the dark, the beauty in the ugly and for heavens sake , every time a bad thought or memory comes up, kick its a$$ with 3 positive and happy ones , okurrr?!?!?

I LOVE YOU

XOX

UNTIL NEXT TIME

JAZZY