Toxic Family Dynamics and "The wound of being too intense"

The wound of being ‘too intense’

"What is Toxic Family Dynamics? Toxic Family Dynamics come in various forms and can damage a child’s development in visible and invisible ways. Some of the toxic family dynamics that sensitive/ intense children can get locked into include: Having depressed or emotionally blank parents, having controlling parents, enmeshment, having to step up as ‘little adults’, having to face parents’ envy, and being scapegoated as the black sheep. On this page, we will explain these dynamics one by one, and explain how they can cause Complex Trauma or Complex PTSD.

What is Complex PTSD? Complex trauma, or Complex PTSD, results from a series of repeated, often ‘invisible’ childhood experiences of maltreatment, abuse, neglect, and situations in which the child has little or no control or any perceived hope to escape. Growing up in an environment full of unpredictability, danger, parental inconsistencies, or emotional abandonment, these individuals are left with ’hidden traumas’ that disrupt not only their psychological but also neurological and emotional development. These invisible forms of trauma is what we call Complex Trauma, or Complex PTSD.

Complex Trauma, the Invisible Trauma (Complex PTSD)

In the past, psychologists have typically focused more on the impact of ‘shock trauma’ from extreme events such as accidents, wars and natural disasters. However, there is a second type of trauma that is very real and pervasive, yet not captured by the traditional diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The term Complex PTSD describes chronic childhood trauma, such as emotional neglect or parentification, that is invisible in nature.

It is easy to recognize when a child is explicitly, physically or sexually abused, but the impact of having inadequate or deficient parents can be elusive and escape our collective awareness. Sometimes the trauma could even be about what your caregivers did not do (omission) rather than what they did (commission).

Unfortunately, unlike shock trauma or physical abuse, the psychological injuries caused by emotional abandonment or alienation are often invisible and unacknowledged. This may leave these children to feel confused, assume that their traumatic experiences are not valid, and turn to blaming and shaming themselves. Even as adults, they may suppress or deny these painful memories by dismissively comparing their trauma to that of others who were more ‘noticeably’ abused."

In this blog I will take you through and explain these very adverse childhood effects not even I realized had such a huge impact on my mental state to this day.

Remember, no matter how much your family wants to scream at you, point fingers and not ever take responsibility for bullshit behavior, does not mean it's right. It's oneof the hardest things to do when you have this condition, actually creating healthy boundaries.

You must love yourself enough to work through this and come out the other side, because,

when you are conditioned as we are.

, to ignore it all and stay to busy for actual good to be done in our lives, focusing on everything we can do outside if the actual issues, we will waste our only beautiful life on this earth silently suffering.

I want to help end the stigmas , and end the silence. 2022 is the year I changed my life for the better, so my daughter doesn't end up like me (these circles repeat until you stop the curse. My dad and his dad were estranged-- My grandfather a abuser , and my mom had major problems with her mom -- the strict old school Roman catholic. They have all always just either have been too busy to work through shit or just act like its all ok , just because there's others I the world suffering. Yes, we are one. So why would my issues be any less?! Wake up hellooo , they are not. So enough with the "Oh wells" yeah. Since my parental relationships have been non existent or destroyed due to this and people not willing to work through stuff , I now am taking control and stopping this circle before MY relationship with MY daughter and MY actual family , is ruined too. Talk about #generationalcurses man.

Sorry for the long rant .

Next blog entry will be Complex trauma and the highly intense, gifted and sensitive

Xo jazzy