Wow , it hurts for sure to start working with that inner child 😭🙏😔⚔️🔥 #KuKiai

Guys , please always always remember this. You are Worthy. You are enough . You are important. You ARE loveable . You deserve it all. (above #IAM -- "Worthyness wound Mantra" ™️ Caroline strawson ☝️)

Below 👇 you see the "Action Lab Day 2" workbook from the Bootcamp I joined , it was a amazing 3 day FREE course which is completely mind opening 😭😭😭💯❤️ best decision I made all year (😉 so far anyway #health #2023 )

So here we are ... I am sitting here , heart wide open , truly open , and man . It feels like mush. Straight up mush. I have made contact with my inner child in a way that I can barely look at a image of myself at 8 years old without feeling immense compassion, love and empathy . I can't look at a picture of myself without feeling the deepest, saddest hurt I have ever felt . This is why I have been so quick to respond to life in anger , so I don't have to feel this .

Which also puts into perspective the reason people run so fast , all their lives, from serious emotional issues they need to face ... It puts it clearly into perspective the feeling they are running from , and myself as well. It must change . I am that change . I will be making a post later diving into the two archetypes I am inside and am learning about .)

But on the other hand .. I also feel like We need to just be strong, and fight through it , face the shit, because we are worth it .

We deserve to be our healed version ... meet our TRUE self , and blast off to our full potential( you , me , him, her , they, we all do !!)

We do deserve to feel worthy , and loved , and wanted , no matter how long it takes for us to get to the point of wanting to heal, or make the change . It's never to late . The only time we don't have hope is when the person refuses to look at themselves in the mirror .

Deep inner child wounds 😔🙏 for sure ... Yet , I have no mom or dad to go to. Alot of the time, a person has so much to deal with when they just have one parent who was toxic/ narcissistic. But when you have a person who grew up living in a constant state of fear and worry and unworthiness , due to both parents being completely and totally emotionally unavailable to do what a parent HAS to do , you end up completely screwed it seems .

Look guys , my family has completely went silent in every way they could for me in this extreme hard time in life . Yes , I am hurt , and I am pissed at them all, as I should be , righteously. They all have shunned me out since Sept when someone in my circle physically attacked me and I finally reached my breaking point with CPTSD and have actually been calling out for any support .

My whole family.

My cousins , even the one that I never thought would just be so so so silent , the "you can't make anyone care"s only can go so far . Becaude honestly, people choose what they do . And when you know someone is harming someone else with actions or non actions , and you just enable it and stay silent , you are actually choosing to do that instead of trying to help the situation and solve anything.

To "save the drama" only drags the drama out as long as possible . Yo cover up really insane shit so noone really knows what actually happened , especially when it's about CHILDREN, s fuckin insane and I personally feel I need to slap my entire family out of it .

Generations of silent people . It's super sad. 😔⚔️

My mom just runs from me and blamea me for everything that's ever happened and me loosing my entire family . That's all she knows how to do , since I was 6 she has ran from me and been to busy for me . I personally think it's selfish as fuck , you have a kid. Be there for it . What the heck man 😔😔😔⚔️⚔️⚔️

How can someone literally have no emotions towards their own. How can someone be so cold to just blame blame blame their own child for everything and anything, scream at them anytime they try to talk like adults and express concern or worry , how can someone ignore and cover up the fact that their kid was attacked physically by their own farm woofer , re sparking severe daily CPTSD episodes , and noone will talk about it or try to help the situation with him at all, instead call her crazy and keep putting out into the world that somehow he "DIDNT DO IT"?! HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO CRUEL TO THEIR KID AS THEY ARE SEVERLY STRUGGLING AND BEGGING FOR ANY UNDERSTANDING???

(My dominant inner child "Worthyness wound" archtype 😔🙏☝️🔥)

I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GRASP THIS LEVEL OF DISASSOCIATION AND COLDNESS . END. OF. STORY.

I am so grateful to have found this resource, the Bootcamp by Caroline strawson . She is a huge inspiration to me . Check her out on Facebook .

Anyone who has the courage to look inside , and try to work through generational trauma , is a warrior in my eyes . The sheer fact alone that noone will acknowledge anything or validate anything, is enough to make anyone give up, but we can't . We can't give up on ourselves.

We have to remember that light comes from darkness .

We are that light .

You are that light

•• kilauea Volcano on the big island Hawaii , Halemaumau crater , where I'm born and raised 🔥🔥🌋🌋 never forget the power within , never forget you are magic XOX Jazzy ••

Well guys I could literally go on and on and on (and I will lol, so make sure your subscribed to the blog and please , interact! I DO need any type of support , and am smack dab in the middle of a huge silent family system . Your words , you the reader, are my saving graces at this point in my life .

With all this being said , I now am watching my baby girl walk up to the truck , we have a little surprise girls trip , Mama's taking her to ROSS for some clothes shopping 😍😍🥰🥰❤️❤️⚔️

Check back in with you all a bit later tonight . Love you guys , thank you. Seriously, for just being here .

I'll say it a million times ....Thanks for being here, you mean the world to me

Xo Jazzy